How Northgiven works

Non-negotiable filters

Before any psychometric scoring happens, we check three things: sexual orientation and attraction, relationship structure (monogamy, ethical non-monogamy, open), and children (want kids, do not want kids, open to either).

These are deal-breakers by definition. Getting them wrong wastes everyone's time. We filter them out entirely rather than letting users discover the mismatch six dates in.

This layer is binary. A candidate either passes or does not appear at all.

What we measure and what we do not

We assess four dimensions: attachment style (secure, anxious, avoidant), conflict approach (collaborative vs. withdrawal), emotional awareness, and core values alignment (family, career, lifestyle, faith, independence).

These predict long-term compatibility because they shape how two people handle stress, disagreement, and growth over time. Physical attraction does not appear here. That is a judgment call that belongs to you, not an algorithm.

Each assessment takes about 7 minutes. Answers feed a composite score that positions you relative to other members. We do not show you your score. We use it to rank candidates before you see them.

The assessment is not a personality test. We are not diagnosing you. We are finding out how you tend to behave in close relationships so we can predict which pairings are likely to work.

Seven dimensions, none displayed as badges

Once you are active on the platform, we track seven behavioral dimensions: response consistency, conversation depth, card completion rate, focus session follow-through, account state transitions, moderation history, and time-to-pass on low-fit candidates.

These signals do not become public scores. We do not show trust badges, star ratings, or engagement percentages on profiles. That would create a leaderboard dynamic where people optimize for looking engaged rather than being engaged.

Instead, behavioral signals influence ranking. Members who show up consistently get better queue position. Members who ghost repeatedly move down. The system rewards actual behavior, not a score.

Courtship Bandwidth, Focus Mode, and Account States

Courtship Bandwidth is a cap on how many active conversations you can hold at once. The number is set by the matching engine based on your behavioral signals. Shallow multitasking produces worse outcomes for everyone. The cap enforces depth.

Focus Mode is a structured check-in that surfaces midway through a conversation. It asks both people if they want to continue, pause, or close the thread. No ghosting required. Either party can exit cleanly at any point.

Account States are how we handle inactivity without punishing people for having a life. If you go quiet, your account enters a low-activity state. Your existing conversations continue. You stop receiving new match candidates until you re-engage. When you come back, the queue rebuilds from your current position.

These features are the 5 tenets in product form: deliberate matching, honest closing, behavioral accountability, depth over volume, and privacy by default.